


I’m Not You (Nor Will I Be)

by Jdkwinxgrl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: A little bit of humour, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Keyblade Graveyard (Kingdom Hearts), Set During Kingdom Hearts 3, This time super intentional – I will make you feel things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24034072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jdkwinxgrl/pseuds/Jdkwinxgrl
Summary: When you flip a coin, it really is heads OR tails, isn’t it? Vanitas realized long ago you can’t have both at the same time.----So yeah Vanitas’ death was good in KH3 actually and I will fight anyone who tells me otherwise.
Relationships: Sora & Vanitas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Sora & Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	I’m Not You (Nor Will I Be)

**Author's Note:**

> So ya girl finally watched Re:mind and oh man I love how it reinforces Vanitas’ last scene in KH3. Story starts after “this b*tch empty, YEET!” in Monster’s Inc.
> 
> Vanitas here is reformed from remnant Vanitas, meaning he wasn't exactly brought from the past like some of the others.

**_“Naminé was made when Sora freed me from his heart. So, now that she's a part of me again, I figured all was right. But she can't look at this forest, feel the wind on her face, none of it. And if she could, it would be different for her. Her time was short, but she lived it, and that makes it hers. What right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back? They don't belong to me. Nothing's as it should be. Not for her_ or _Roxas.” – Kairi_**

* * *

_He was never Ventus. No, he refused to think that._

As Vanitas sat up in the snow, he growled to himself. He’d been manhandled by that _thing_ , and thrown into this frozen landscape. Luckily, he had his mask on, so he avoided a mouth full of snow.

“Youuu- _who?_ Are you alright?” called a man from his doorstep. Vanitas figured it was the same doorway he’d been transported through. There was a sign above him that read _“Wandering Oaken’s Trading Post”_.

“I’m fine,” Vanitas snapped. He stood up, wiping the snow off of his coat. He was made of darkness, why did he have to wear this stupid thing anyway? At least it kept the cold out.

“No need to be snappy with me, dearie. I’m only seeing you haven’t lost your way.” the man said. “The snow was sudden for all of us, yeah. Luckily my children were all inside when this summer blizzard hit.”

Vanitas sighed. He could be casual, he hadn't been raised without _any_ manners, the bare minimum to avoid a slap on the wrist or a stab in the back.

“That’s good for you,” Vanitas muttered. He hated small talk. He kept the unversed inside him well enough, even if he was just itching to be free of the irritation.

“You’re a young lad, yeah? I’m glad you seem to have some coat or garment there keeping you warm, yes.” The man noted, kindly.

Vanitas looked down at his coat. It really was more trouble than it was worth.

“Whatever, this is a trading post, right? What for this coat?” Vanitas asked. The man’s eyes widened. He was already unzipping the long coat.

“Surely not, lad. You would freeze to death. I’m a man of business, but I wouldn’t leave a child in the cold, yeah. I only have so much on my person.” The man answered, shaking his head. He pulled out a few gold coins. It was enough.

“I’m leaving and I don’t want it. Take it, it’s probably better than whatever you had in stock anyway.” Vanitas clenched his teeth. He shoved the coat into the stranger’s arms and grabbed the coins. Currency was currency, and Moogle wouldn’t be picky about exchanging it. He started to walk off.

“Wait! Do you know how to get back home?” The man called out.

Vanitas was about to leave before he paused. This man probably imagined him to be a villager’s son, maybe the nephew of some travelling merchant from a faraway land, yet Vanitas hailed from much farther. This man was big and boisterous, he had a charming partner and children he raised. If he lived in the abode behind him, it was full of warmth. Vanitas’ fists tightened.

 _His_ home, on the other hand...

 _Ventus_.

“There is no home out there that I wish to return to,” Vanitas snarled. With that, he turned on his heel and trudged into a Corridor of Darkness.

* * *

These things really were that overrated, huh? With the clock counting down until Ventus’ body became revealed, Vanitas thought he’d enjoy what time he had left. So, he decided this clock was the place to be.

Vanitas sat overlooking the town from the Twilight Town clock tower, a few Unversed strewn about as he was biting into the Sea Salt ice cream. He’d seen quite a few people eating it and he was wondering what all the hullabaloo was. Sure, he could’ve used his Unversed to threaten the shop keeper into giving him a whole tub, but he didn’t want a tub, nor did he want his coat. Really, all he had wanted was a taste.

And he got that taste. Thinking about it, he’d only been fused with Ventus for a short period of time, yet that was enough. It had felt incredible. All the power in the worlds and he was the one standing center stage, not underneath Ventus as a shadow. Fused was a kind word, pondering upon it further: possessed, forcibly taken, dominated. Only one of them could truly exist while the other would have to sleep in silence.

He’d seen Sora’s heart; taken a gander at it. Ventus had been shut up completely for more than 10 years, given no room to breathe or think. The two other hearts locked up in there were no more than dead weight, mere coals at the hearth of Sora’s all-consuming fire.

Vanitas didn’t like that one bit. Every heart was a prison to him. Only when he was the warden of his own heart could he truly be free. No bending to Xehanort and his schemes, nor Ventus and his stupid light. He bit down on the stick as he finished, the finished salty but sweet treat becoming all too sour in his mouth with his thoughts. He took it out and was about to throw it at a bird or something, yet hesitated when he saw the stick.

“WINNER”

His fist gripped around the stick tight – he sure hoped so.

* * *

“Hey look at you, strutting around without a coat on, goin’ rogue or something?” Demyx asked.

Vanitas had gotten tired of the view, so he returned to the Keyblade Graveyard. He was hoping all of the other members would be out on missions, meaning he could find some respite in the place that served as close as a physical home he would come across. There was an energy here, something he couldn’t quite place, although it didn’t entirely unsettle him. It was where his remnants had been held for the longest time, perhaps his fellow keyblade wielders taking pity on his broken heart and holding the last of his pieces together. Their keyblades would come when he called them, attack in unison and support his weight.

But, Vanitas wasn’t lucky. He’d forgotten about the useless thing with arms and a guitar, Demyx. A guitar which he absentmindedly strung. 

“It was just holding me down.” Vanitas shrugged. Demyx wasn’t fun to talk to. He didn’t get mad like Master what’s-her-face and his lesser half. Those two, they were fun to talk to. They’d get all riled up, and Vanitas would push all the right buttons: taunting and mocking them. Keyblades raised, they wouldn’t hold back, and Vanitas liked the challenge – all the more satisfying when they crumbled beneath his blade.

Demyx was either a dumbass or scaredy-cat, maybe both. He’d placate anyone, and that didn’t fit Vanitas’ definition of entertaining.

“Vanitas, I was wondering. You mentioned you had a brother, right?” Demyx inquired. He struck a wrong chord on his guitar and Vanitas almost flinched. He hadn’t been expecting that. Sure, why not. He had time to kill: Ventus’ heart hadn’t returned back yet from the realm of darkness.

“Kind of. We don’t share parents like normal siblings. We’re bound together like brothers are.” Vanitas explained. 

“So, like friends, then? You sorta sound like Sora, all ' _our hearts are connected_ ' and whatnot, give me a break. Like, I don’t even write songs that cheesy.” Demyx said, tuning his guitar. That drew a chuckle from Vanitas. It wasn’t like Sora at all: this sound was dark and derived from a deeper more twisted pleasure. It unsettled him.

“No, you _chose_ your friends. I had no choice in this bond we share. But, yes, Sora is my brother too, in the same sense.” Vanitas admitted. That certainly stirred Demyx from his guitar, whipping his head up to look over at Vanitas. The dude had such a menacing aura for being so young: he certainly hadn’t expected him to be related to a big ball of sunshine like Sora!

“Whoa?! Wait what? You’re Sora’s brother? No way! Why am I always the last one told about these things?” Demyx exclaimed, then muttering something about bench-warming or other. Suddenly, he gasped in realization. “Oh heck, sorry for insulting him then – hold up! You’re fighting against him, though? _Man,_ I really don’t get it.” He groaned and slumped back over his guitar.

“If I could sever them, I would without hesitation. For now, I’ve found some sort of comfort in it. As long as I can feel this connection, it means we are apart. That I am truly myself and not another,” Vanitas sneered, eyes staring down at Demyx’s pillar with hardened resolve.

“That’s plenty different from the whole thing that Marly’s got going on. I know he’s gotta sister but he hates talking about it. Last time I brought it up, his eyes looked super bummed out and he ignored me for two weeks and doubled my chores. Damn, what a pain in the ass. ” Demyx sighed. Vanitas didn’t respond, continuing to dangle his legs off of his pillar, lost in his silent musings.

They sat with Demyx strumming his guitar in a not unpleasant way, and Vanitas found himself at rest with this odd sort of peace. No Ventus, no Sora, no wars, no Unversed clamouring for attention. He could just _breathe_.

This interlude ended when a dark corridor appeared and Vanitas felt a tingling in his chest. The hitchhiker had made his way back to the Realm of Light.

Vexen stepped out of the portal, standing behind Demyx.

“Come, we need to **talk** ,” Vexen stated. Demyx turned his back and stared at him, tilting his head.

“You? _You_ want to talk to _me?_ That’s rich,” Demyx scoffed. Vexen looked from Demyx to Vanitas, who was hard to gauge with his helmet hiding his face. The boy was a complete enigma to him. His eyes flickered back down to Demyx, stern.

“Not here. Now, come with me,” Vexen hissed. Demyx sighed and let his guitar vanish into the ether.

“Fine, fine, whatever, got nothing better to do,” Demyx supposed. He followed Vexen into the portal, only pausing to look over at Vanitas.

“Yo, hope you and your brothers see each other. Later!” Demyx called, before fading into the darkness.

Vanitas stood on his pillar, grinning under his mask. He didn’t need hope. Ventus’ heart would be his at last.

* * *

At first, he was taken aback, although, it didn’t take long to settle. The feeling started to boil in his chest before bubbling out as wicked laughter. He whipped his head as he kept laughing. Some of it was anxiety, sure, but man, was it hilarious Ventus didn’t yet understand the way this worked.

“We’re the same,” _We’re no different. We can’t both exist. You shouldn’t exist–_

Vanitas had said a lot of mean things, however, he wasn’t _that_ cruel. How dare Ventus ask for him to give up so easily.

"You believe that? Then you really are naïve. This may shock you, but we're not the same like you think. I was just hidden deep inside of you, for a really long time. All Xehanort did... was tear me right out of you." Vanitas said. It made the most sense to him. It was the only way he could keep himself sane and separate from the idiot before him. Sure, both of them had been a portion of the original Ventus’ heart, make no mistake, but they were never intermingled. Darkness and light were separate forces, after all. Although Riku chose to walk a road in between, he couldn’t use darkness and light simultaneously: no such grey existed. He just used both.

Vanitas supposed that there was a darker version within everyone, just as a version of Ventus existed as well. They might’ve worked together when they acted as one heart, but they were past the point of no return. If Vanitas were to return home, it would be to rest forever. He would cease to even be.

He had earned his freedom, trained hard and siphoned the power of darkness so he could maintain a semblance of self. This brat thought he was the original? The best place for him to return?

“Hmm... _make me_ ,” Vanitas smirked.

_Take my liberty from my cold dead hands, **Ventus**. _

* * *

“...we decide who we are.” Ventus declared. Vanitas looked down at him.

When you flip a coin, it really is heads _or_ tails, isn’t it? Vanitas realized long ago you can’t have both at the same time.

Maybe he needed that hope Demyx mentioned more than ever. Not to physically see his brothers, but for them to see him as he truly wanted to be known. Ventus had to be smarter than he looked.

He wasn’t a puppet, he wasn’t being controlled. This was just who he was. He’d long since escaped from Xehanort’s whims, more so him entertaining his former master than the other way around. He’d been given a choice to work with the real Organization, and there were many opportunities before where he could’ve given up and joined the light.

But the light was Ventus.

And Vanitas, if there was one thing he would never be _willingly_ , was **Ventus**.

“But... Ventus, I did _decide_ who I am. You see?" Vanitas answered with a frown. He couldn’t look Ventus in the eye, fists clenched. His heart was broken and he was laying his emotions bare, and if Ventus couldn’t get it now, he never would.

“And what you are is darkness?” Ventus asked.

There was a pause – Vanitas rose his gaze and the two locked eyes.

“What I am is darkness.” Vanitas reaffirmed.

He and Ventus shared an intense gaze. So much went unsaid, yet so much was understood. Ventus went searching in his eyes, however, Vanitas was resolute. The boy made of light didn’t want to, but he had to let go. Give Vanitas the freedom he so desperately wanted, a fate granted on his own terms.

_~~“Don't you have any~~ love ~~at all for your own brother?"~~_

Ventus’ naturally soft voice was rough this time around, full of averse acceptance. Yet, it was short and ended the story neatly between them.

“ _Okay_ ,”

Vanitas smiled one last time before Vanitas as Vanitas ceased to be.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments are certainly welcome. If you disagree, or have an opinion, as always, convey it in a constructive manner. Love ya, stay safe.


End file.
